I cannot find my penis.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
