Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
