Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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