Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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