So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
