She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
