I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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