check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
