Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
