Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Randomize
