Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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