I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
