I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
