I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Barsexuality is the new black.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
