She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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