He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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