K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
