Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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