real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My first STD was from a foam party
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
