so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
