well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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