either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
