he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
