This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
