He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
