i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
