I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
