sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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