I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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