The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
