Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
