Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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