I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
They have beer where we have blood.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
