dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
