its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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