As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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