and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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