I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Reggie can tackle my bush.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
