I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
