wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
