He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
