i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
