Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
