You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
