Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
