Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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