I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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