I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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