i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
