I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
