Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
