Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
