my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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